"You can't lose someone you never had."

My friend is in slight depression. The Bangkok trip was great on all accounts except for our  ' Project eye candy'. Eye Candy did not succumb to her charms & advances, much to our disappointment ...lol.....

She told us she felt lost. Then I reasoned "You can't lose someone you never had." that's the line  Kate Hudson used on -"How to Lose A Guy In Ten Days" ....lol....

We all laughed & agreed, besides that, we had a really good time. Bought many things & ate like whales. I think Eye Candy likes to hang out with us. Besides him there's 1 more guy. That's one of my buddies' boy friend from law. They have known each other for 4/5 years since JC. 2 guys & 5 girls for this trip, hopefully we can have 10 next time....haha...  When we left for home last night at the airport, Eye Candy told me, we should do it again soon. Sure .... I said just dont make me wait again ...lol...

Then daddy came & took me home:))

Waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought- useless and disappointing

Remember I ask the eye candy to join us for the trip? Well I'm still waiting for his reply & exams R over for most of us. Then I saw him yesterday & went straight to see what's happening to him. It's December, though there are practically hundreds of flights to Bangkok per day, there are also thousands of people going there as well. We need to buy now as we are leaving next week.

He must be thinking that I'm stalking him by now. Boy... embarrassing as this is ,I'm doing it for the group & the friend who likes him. Anyway I don't understand what's his deal, why cant he just say yes or no? We figured he must be thinking of what are we going to do to him in Bangkok ....lol...... Anyway if I still don't get an answer from him, we are doing it without him.

With that in mind I caught hold of him & blurted out : "waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought- useless and disappointing". I seriously don't know what came over me. After it came out, I almost died- who says such things???? my friends often wonder that about me, with good cause I should say !

He was as surprise as I was I guess. 2 of my friends were near-by, collapse in laughter- that saved the day. They immediately came over & the tension was resolved. He laughed also ... & explained he was having a hard time with the exams ( now I felt bad) & plan to see me later.

Anyway, he said he'll join us as he also need to get away. Well well ... all well that ends well.

Help should be given anonymously ,really ?

After the last encounter with my classmate, I was kinda unnerved. During lunch I brought up the subject again , because I believe Some people can't believe in themselves until someone else believes in them first. Maybe that's her problem I told my buddies & all of them go .... 'drop it ... she's going through depression, she needs professional help'

But isnt that the point? What she needs most is some support from friends. No? Everyone believe , it's too late .... it's the middle of the exams & the tension is too great. I make it a point to talk to her again after the exams.

My buddies warned me to hands off. Why? I wont understand what she's going through they reasoned. Well I think they are wrong. I'm not as sheltered as they think I am. I believe we should all support each other in times of need. Then they ask me, why didn't I go say hi to her all these years?

Well that's a fair question. Why indeed? I've got to say, she's very different from me. She's quiet & intense & she looked scared all the time. I feel uncomfortable near her, but that's before. Now I wanted to help her. Buddies said I should help people anonymously- that's the way to do it. Really? Come to think of it, it makes sense. I've very smart buddies :))

Not everyone will be ok ???

I bump into a classmate, she dropped a book & look so lost. In fact she looked as if she has not slept for days or washed her hair. She saw me starring, & look quite shy. Told me she is going to wash her hair later. Boy... I have no intention to make her feel awkward.

Anyway I ask her what's up? I know exams is here, but .... Then she said something very unexpected. Something like "I'm not like you. I feel like an idiot. But I'm an idiot, so that kinda works out" you. My God, where did that came from. Exams nerves???? I quickly reassure her everything's going to be fine, plus it's just mid year. She just go "yeah right, easy for you to say." then she quickly made an excuse & almost ran away!

Told my buddies  about her, & they advice me not to go around telling people 'everything is going to be ok!' Because that does not apply to everyone! wow !!!!

Great Advice from Captain Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean)

I'm seriously very worry about my exams. So I watched an old favorite movie to distress. Pirates of the Caribbean. I love the movie, Johnny Depp is funny like hell & ohhh.... my favorite Orlando Bloom, he's so handsome- loved him.

Captain Jack Sparrow said " I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest... Honestly, it's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly...stupid." Haha... I love it. Dad was watching it with me & he too agree that was one piece of good advice!

Hmmm... has dad being duped by a honest man ? Cant imagine, dad is very successful & mum always said he's too smart sometimes. Haha... wonder what that means, anyway, I'll make it a point to be careful of people who "appears" to be honest in the future :))

-Yoda (from The Empire Strikes Back) "Do, or do not. There is no "try"

Since I found out about the BKK trip, I got really excited. Haha.... now we can plan the trip together. It's fun. We talked about it all the time. Yes even if it's during exams. Nothing can dampen our spirits. We go after the exams.

 We have been talking so much about it that almost everyone knows now. There's this guy that we wanted to invited to the trip. We called him the "Eye candy" ....lol... OK one of the girls really likes him & they have been flirting with each other for the whole semester. But nothing much is happening besides that ,which is driving us NUTS ....lol... So we thought if he join us for the trip, it might give them a chance to know each other better. I was given the task of asking him. So I did. He looked at me, naturally surprised & said " girl , you know we are in the middle of exams right? " He must have sense my disappointment, as he immediately said " I'll try". I cant believe what I'm hearing- nobody rejects me ...lol.... it's true. The reason why I was chosen to ask him is because all my friends feel that way which is reassuring, or perhaps they were just chickens ...lol..

And before I could even think, I spontaneously reply with a line from Yoda "Do, or do not. There is no "try"." Seriously I just couldn't help it. You all know I'm a movie buff, I do memorize lines from movies- that's my thing. And sometimes it comes out naturally, like now! He looked amused & immediately said " ok sure, no one said no to you before ya? " Oh Boy.... how embarrassing that was. If there's a hole there, I'll crawl in! But bottom line is, I did accomplish the mission. Hopefully love sparkles in BKK.

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

Since I found out I have not been invited to the December trip my friends were planing I was feeling really depress. It's quite obvious, so one of them asked me 'what's happening?' Initially I plan never to review to them that I know about the trip. But I just can't keep it in anymore. I was really feeling so bad, these are like my best friends !!!! So I blurt it out that "i know about the trip!'

She go like WHAT !!!! It's supposed to be a surprise! I go like ..."what surprise ?" OMG.... after like a minute of explanation, I found out it's supposed to be a surprise for me, a birthday present for me, my buddies were chipping in to pay for a trip to BKK for me as a birthday present! I can't believe my relief !!! I was so happy & very very touched. What was I thinking.... these are my pals, my buddies. We love each other !!!!!!

A beautiful song by the late Nat King Cole my parents loved came to mind : The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out?

My dad told me that yesterday after he found out why I was so upset. I found out a group of my friends were planing to go Bangkok for a short break coming December & I was not invited. I thought we do everything together. We study together, have lunch together & Go movies together.

Thinking of confronting them, but did not. That would be very embarrassing for everyone especially myself. I kept coming up with reasons for the exclusion. The only thing this suggest is that they don't really like me, which is pretty humbling & super depressing.

Anyway my dad's words stays in my mind. He's really such a sweet dad. He promise we will be going Paris this December. Paris is like a thousand time better than Bangkok right? Yes it is but that didn't take away the pain of being excluded from my friends. Still it's great. Can't wait for that now. On second thoughts, it did soothe my heart a little:))

Had meant to keep a journal of sorts, so here goes.....

On second thoughts my life aint that interesting so.......

I'm a movie buff...haha.... spend most of days glued to the set, so I might as well do something about it!!!!

Will list out famous lines from movies from now on...lol... hope you enjoy if you drop by!!!